11 Months!!!

Where has the time gone? Where to begin? So many things have happened and changed since the last time I blogged. Since then, JT has come home from the hospital. My little boy has had many surgeries, but he is doing fantastic. He is blind in the left eye and has had struggles with the right eye, but he is our Living Miracle. JT is the reason I get up some days. He shows me that no matter how bad the day is, it could always be worse. My son has taught me more in his little life so far than I can teach him in a long life time. He has helped me to have understanding and patience, and to be a better person. I have grown spiritually and mentally. I know that the Lord gives us the trials we have to help us grown and define who we are, not to knock us down. The Lord has blessed me with an incredible Husband and eternal companion. Cody is understanding, loving, and extremely patient with me at times. I have an amazing family who supports, loves and cares for me and my entire family. I have an amazing friend who knows what it is like to have the struggles of a NICU micro-preemie. I am blessed. What more can I say? JT is 11 months, he is 14 lb 14 oz and 26 1/4 inches long. He is a blessing and a gift that the Lord has given not only me and my husband, but many. My son has helped to give life and faith to some who really needed it, me included.

Dear JT,
My sweet, sweet boy. You are 11 months and approaching 1. Wow! You are truly amazing. You are a Living Miracle. Please keep staying strong and fighting hard. You have taught and helped more people than you will ever know. You show that with faith, thy Lords will, will be done. As I have mentioned in my past posts, the Lord said, "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." That might be the understatement of the year, but you are definitely worth it. Your father and I would do anything for you. We are so blessed the the Lord entrusted us with your special life. Through all the challenges and struggles that you have and may encounter, know, we will ALWAYS be there for you. We will teach, help, educate and make all things possible for you. You have taught us more than we can ever teach you. You are special; know that. We love you and always will. For time and all eternity, Families are forever. Penguin kisses!!!
Love Always,
Mommy and Daddy

Double Eye Surgery

JT under went another eye surgery on Tuesday. Hopefully we were able to save his vision. We are really praying hard.


JT is not liking bath time at the hospital, he wants to have a bath at home. We are approaching him coming home soon, we just have to be patient.

We want him home so bad. We just want a normal life. We have been doing the hospital scene for 17 weeks.

We are getting exhausted.

JT had the lifeflight team bring him up to Primary Childrens on Thursday. Friday morning JT had surgery on his eyes. The eye doctor is trying to prevent JT from going blind. The retina in his eye is starting to detach, which could cause him to go blind. We are now at a whole new adventure in our book. We are staying strong, but this journey is harder than we ever expected. From the time he was 1 pound till now, we have had courage and faith. I will admitt, it isn't always easy, but for JT we will do anything. The hardest thing is knowing that I did this to my sweet little boy. My body wasn't able to continue the pregnancy, so I had to have him. Now, he has had to undergo surgery after surgery, not even knowing if he is going to be able to see. It is tough. I think about it each and every day. I thought that as the days went, it would get easier and easier. Little did I know, it would get harder and harder. It is harder to put him down when he is fussy, harder to leave at night to go home with out him and definately harder to see him on the ventilator. I pray that this surgery works and my little boy will be able to see. I know the Lord has many things that he wants JT to see and experince, we just have to keep the faith and stay strong. The Lord always said it wouldn't be easy, it would only be worth it. It has definately been worth it to have our little boy in our lives. He has made us stronger as a person, a couple and as a family.

The New Baby

October 8th 2009 Johnathan Tristan Paxman was born at 2:15pm. He weighed 1 pound 4 ounces and is 12 3/4 inches long. I will fill in all the details of how he was born but I just wanted to vent. I love the nurses at the NICU but it is stressful to have nob turners. JT will recover his oxygen on his own, but some nurses don't give him a chance. IT IS FREAKING ME OUT!!!