Sunday, January 17, 2010

We are getting exhausted.

JT had the lifeflight team bring him up to Primary Childrens on Thursday. Friday morning JT had surgery on his eyes. The eye doctor is trying to prevent JT from going blind. The retina in his eye is starting to detach, which could cause him to go blind. We are now at a whole new adventure in our book. We are staying strong, but this journey is harder than we ever expected. From the time he was 1 pound till now, we have had courage and faith. I will admitt, it isn't always easy, but for JT we will do anything. The hardest thing is knowing that I did this to my sweet little boy. My body wasn't able to continue the pregnancy, so I had to have him. Now, he has had to undergo surgery after surgery, not even knowing if he is going to be able to see. It is tough. I think about it each and every day. I thought that as the days went, it would get easier and easier. Little did I know, it would get harder and harder. It is harder to put him down when he is fussy, harder to leave at night to go home with out him and definately harder to see him on the ventilator. I pray that this surgery works and my little boy will be able to see. I know the Lord has many things that he wants JT to see and experince, we just have to keep the faith and stay strong. The Lord always said it wouldn't be easy, it would only be worth it. It has definately been worth it to have our little boy in our lives. He has made us stronger as a person, a couple and as a family.

2 comments:

jessica said...

Aubry You are a amazing mother you have not done anything to JT except for giving him a fighting chance and oh so much love. He is one lucky little guy to have such wonderful parents. You have always been there for him and I know you will continue to be. From the small things to the big things. Always remember you are not alone you have people around you that care for you so much. Please let me know if I can do anything at all even if it is to just be a listening ear. You and your family are always in my thoughts. Keep up the fight JT you have made it so far already!
Loves
Jessica W.

Marye said...

You are so inspiring to boe & I! Keep going. the end is near! I know it's hard not to feel like it's your fault, but you need to find a way to forgive yourself! You can't carry that burden with you! Heavenly Father plays a part in all things. If JT wasn't supposed to come so early, there would've been a way to make sure you could continue to carry him!
I'm so stinkin excited to see you guys outside the hospital with little JT! We need to throw a party or something!! :)